I’ve recently turned 42. Before this year, whenever a woman over the age of 40 took a look at my dating profile all I could think was that she’s way too old. I’d quickly move on.
When I told a friend about this – she’s in her 30’s – she gave me that sober reality check by telling me “YOU ARE OVER 40. How can you say you won’t even date women your own age?”
But that’s not how I thought about it – I don’t feel old, and besides I thought it was different for guys. I’ve always dated younger women and I’ve mostly preferred it. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t think of a really good reason. Perhaps excitement, a sense of playful vitality?
So I decided to do an experiment and change my profile to look for women around my own age, and I found something I would never had expected. Here was a new world of hotness and opportunity – Women over 40.
I was an explorer who had just found a paradise island, and I was just taking in all the beauty. I usually like to focus on good looks, but I was seeing a lot more in these women than before: they were HOT, direct, confident and liberated!
1) HOT: hot sounds better than sexy here, because it means you’re thinking about more than just her body – you value all of her.
These women do what they need to do for themselves – they don’t care about expectations of society or that traditional sex stuff. They get what they want to, and they love it. It’s great to be able to be yourself around women, especially when flirting. Sometimes there’s no messing about and she gets right down to the point, if she’s looking for something serious. Even if it’s not a short bit of fun, we still have other things that can connect us.
2) Direct: When a woman is in her 20’s or 30’s she might let her partner getting away with a whole bunch of transgressions against her. A woman over 40 doesn’t mess about in that sense – she doesn’t stand for it, they use the direct approach. When something goes wrong they set it right again, they don’t just leave it. The best thing is that even when that something is set right again, it’s not the end of the world – things go back to the way they were before. The love is still there.
Maybe I need to repeat that. The love is still there.
This is one of the amazing qualities of women over 40! There’s no extra drama, it’s all about keeping things healthy and comfortable for everyone involved.
3) Confident: They’ve been around the block. The typical things they’ve been through include getting married, having kids, even divorce. They’ve tried and tested the whole game, and now they know what they want, and they show no fear when they decide to go for it!
They are happy with who they are and what they look like, and their beauty shines from inside to outside. They know how to balance giving and receiving, because they’ve been in many fights which they’ve lost, and many they’ve won.
4) Liberated: Many women over 40 have come out of bad relationships before, and they have the experience that comes along with that. They don’t feel the need to hang on your every word or stick things out in case you’re going to change your ways. If you start dating a woman who’s been through all of this, you know it’s because she wants it.
This is meaningful, because it’s so simple to get into that comfortable space where everything just runs according to schedule, even if we’re unhappy. We do this because it’s painful to end a long-term relationship. Once you’re out of that prison, you’re not going to jump back into it very lightly. And the best thing is that they don’t want to imprison anyone else in it either. Their freedom is freeing.
I’m excited for where this will lead me, and I’m pretty sure I’ll stop calling them “older women” when I start to appreciate them up close and personally – and I can’t wait!.
Whatever might happen, I know one thing: I’m definitely looking over 40 for my next girl.