Breaking up is rarely–if ever–easy. Sometimes we are the ones that ask for it or want it, and while the conversation is hard, we feel relieved when it’s done. Sometimes we are the one broken up with, and it hurts, but later we realize it was for the best. In fact, we may have even known it was inevitable.
But then there are the breakups that do sting, and stay stinging. Months later, it still hurts, and you realize there is a void where that person used to be. You miss them… To put it mildly.
The kind of breakup that we’re talking about here is the latter one. The kind of breakup where no matter what you do, you cannot get over them.
Not a day goes by where your heart doesn’t feel heavy when that person crosses your mind. All the things you do, you want to share with the person you lost. Every love song you hear reminds you of that person. And every struggle you have, you wish you could talk to them about it.
This happens when the relationship is unfinished. Even so, you can’t tell yourself that, and you certainly can’t believe it because it will literally drive you mad. So you try to move on with your life. You get pretty close to fooling yourself. Then you see that photo and remember the moment you had together.
Once again you’ll wake up thinking about him or her. You’ll spend the whole day with them on your mind. You’re right back to square one.
Life must go on, and so eventually you re-learn how to function normally again. And sooner, or later, you’ll meet someone else. You remember the saying that “time heals everything,” and you kind of believe it.
There are so many people that come in and out of your life. Some you know and may date briefly, and never give a second thought when it ends. Some you like a lot, but it just didn’t work out and you feel it ran its course. Then, there are those loves who crush you, and it takes months to get over the torment of losing the relationship.
Even so, this breakup is different. You know it had to end then, but know it isn’t over for good. You just can’t say, “I wish you the best” and move on. You just can’t give up on them all together.
You are thrust into a “love limbo.” This is a place in between being with that person, and being free of romantic feelings for them. It’s when you know who the love of your life is, but you aren’t together. Maybe you’ve never even officially been a couple, but the connection to this person is so real, strong and magnetic that you are constantly pulled back. The relationship hasn’t reached its full potential. It can’t be over. This might be the person you’re supposed to spend your life with.
Nevertheless, you aren’t together now because of timing in your lives, your missed opportunities to reconcile, felt the need to grow independently, had career obligations, wanted to date more people, etc. So, you sit in love limbo, biding your time until you can *hopefully* be together again. You find distractions and push away what you feel in order to be sane enough to function as an adult.
But in the back of your mind, you know. You know you’ve found the one; it’s just a matter of getting your life together enough to really be there for one another, to be present to the relationship, and not just scrambling to make ends meet. To have the experiences you need so you don’t feel regret of committing too early. But still beware of not committing too late.
You understand that a connection like that comes around once, maybe twice, in a lifetime. Your friends think you’re insane going back and forth, and, at times, you yourself feel crazy. Why, in a world full of billions of other people, are you allowing one to keep holding you back? That’s a question you can’t answer.
All you know for sure is that one day you hope to get out of love limbo and back in the arms of the one you love.