For democrats, the most exceedingly awful thing that could’ve happened has happened: A scheming, conniving, and manipulative reality TV star has been granted the keys to the oval office and with it, complete control over the country’s nuclear arsenal. This despite failing to win the popular vote.
Following this, the fallout has been immense. To counter this, however, I venture an idea. I move that effective immediately, our government issues an executive order allowing for the widespread legalization of the use of recreational Marijuana in all 50 states. Be sure to include Guam and Puerto Rico, wouldn’t want to leave anyone out. This will no doubt go a long way in appeasing the millions and the millions of Americans who are distraught and despondent at the prospect of living in a real life Idiocracy, with a real life troll doll at the Helm.
So pretty please with sugar on top. Scrap the Fines. Scrap the Criminalization. Simply give us the weed before it’s past the point of no return. and do it fast.
Terms of Proposition:
– All Americans may participate in recreational pot use whenever they feel like it.
– Workers may take weed breaks at work like they do for cigarette breaks.
– Profits from weed deals to go towards improving motion pictures and subsidizing space travel.
– New weed smokers get recreational leave precisely like maternity leave to discover the strand that works for them. A few people like a head-high, while we are more down-to-earth and dig the body stuff.
– We can actually claim “cash Ben owes for blunts” on our tax forms, with no fear of judgment.
Now, if Schoolhouse Rock: America – I’m Just a Bill is anything to go by, a bill turns into a law in the U.S. when someone commits it to paper and has their own local representative bring it up in Congress during a hearing. Providing that works and it’s not killed straight away, the further two hurdles are equally challenging, but we believe the House of Representatives and the Senate would not keep this from the President for long.
The clock is ticking! So in order to speed things up and help navigating through all that swampy red tape we are always likely to encounter, we took it upon ourselves to draft, redact and mail it to our reps in Washington.
In the off chance this bounces back on our laps and doesn’t reach the man in the high castle, the onus will fall on you to get weed legalization going on your own home state.
To further our chances, find and contact your Congressperson on the House of Representatives’ website.
Meanwhile here’s something to kick you into gear. Let’s get this show on the road.